Bad Hair Day
by WithoutYou19
Summary: [RENT] A humorous story about Benny and his early hair loss. When Benny grows an afro, something is bound to happen to it don't you think? This story came to me in a dream. Give it a chance I actully really like it.


**Disclaimer: I don't own the RENT gang. They belong solely to the late (but certainly great) king of Bohemia: Jonathon Larson.**

**Notes: This is really my first humor story. The idea of Benny's loss of hair sounded very funny to me. The rest of the story came to me in a dream (weird, huh?). Enjoy the story of Benny and his baldness!**

_As Benny trudged into his cruddy loft apartment, he was not in high spirits._

_His hair was the main concern._

_He had just grown an afro, and was very proud of it. _

_Unfortunately for him, his "groovy" hair was also the perfect waste basket for his classmates at Brown University to stick their wadded up pieces of crud. _

_Benny was not at all pleased with the situation. His hair was his pride and joy._

_He hated to admit it, but the only one who could help was his cheeky, loud, slutty, fashion- centered, but extremely hair- savvy roommate._

_Maureen._

_The thought of asking Maureen for help was not pleasing to an independent artist like Benny._

_She was as laid back as he was concentrated._

_Benny thought of everything as a masterpiece._

_Maureen liked to think of everything as a game._

_It was not a good combination, but Benny knew that Maureen was the only one who could help him with a hair cleaning problem._

_Begrudgingly, he picked up his cheap cell phone and dialed Maureen's number at the Performance Arts Center of East Village (Benny thought it was more like a cruddy old alleyway, and had mentioned this to Maureen several times.). _

_Maureen picked up immediately with her classic over- enthusiasm._

"Who "just happened to call" the most beautiful and talented actress in New York?"

_Benny quickly thought of a sharp come back and shot it out with ease and style._

"Sorry- I must have the wrong number. I called for a Maureen Johnson. You probably don't know her; bony, over- dramatic, obviously anorexic?"

"Benny you bastard! I'm so surprised that a filthy painter like you wouldn't be begging on the streets by now."

_Ouch!_

_Benny thought for a second, then decided to turn the conversation around. _

"I guess I deserved that. I just-"

"Alright; what is it that your cold little heart desires?"

"You know me all too well. The truth is; I need a hair treatment. This afro is like a puffy gum- magnet."

_Maureen began to laugh on the other line before she regained her never- failing composure. _

"I guess there must be something I can get you for that awful hair- if you'd even call it hair- of yours. I'll whip you up something when I get back to the loft. I should be home in a few hours. This has got to be fast, though. I have a performance in the lot at seven o' clock."

"In the meantime I'll-"

_Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeep_

"- buy a burger."

_Benny hung up the phone with the usual stunned- silence that you can expect after talking- or being talked to- by Maureen._

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_Benny walked in the door of the loft with a chunk of burger in his hand. _

_He surveyed the room until he noticed a wrapped- up package on the kitchen table._

_With a look of intense curiosity, he opened the package to reveal a paper box and a note._

_He read the note with a look of anticipation._

Benny-

Sorry about how rude I was on the phone. I was jus practicing my vocals for the play tonight; noting personal. Of course; now that I think about it- you could have been nicer too. In fact- you started the whole thing!

_The note ended there._

_Maureen; this was classic._

_Benny continued. He opened up the box to reveal four items._

_First, he noticed a bottle with the words; "Hairy Nightmares" on the front. Maureen had obviously used it before, due to the loose cap._

_The next item was a small container of body wash. On the front label, it showed a picture of a very muscular man in a speedo. His bulge hung out profoundly, and his skin looked extremely smooth. _

_The third and fourth items were a cigar and a lighter in the shape and design of a nude- and very sexy- woman._

_Benny settled himself down in front of his mirror and applied a bit of the wash to his hands. He then squirted a bit of the hair treatment onto his head._

_It felt oily and smooth._

_In an act of celebration, Benny decided to have a cigar on the steps of the fire escape._

_He walked out and stared at the lighter. It's design was too small to masturbate over, but it would light a mean cigar. He continuously clicked the small woman's breasts in and out to produce a sensual flame. _

_Eventually, he began to throw the lit lighter into the air, as the flame danced in beauty. _

_Once or twice, he thought his whole body was on fire. His head began to feel warmer and warmer._

_Finally, it came to him._

_His hair was on fire!_

_He quickly rushed to the sink and looked into the mirror. A flurry of greenish flames shot up. _

_It looked almost like a gas fire._

_Maureen!_

_He immediately picked up the "hair treatment" and sniffed it._

_Of course!_

_It was gasoline!_

_He looked longingly into the mirror at his coal- grey lump of hair._

_He had no choice._

_He took a razor and trimmed it all off as he sobbed uncontrollably._

"My hair! My beautiful hair!"

_As he cried with pathetic passion, he imagined Maureen's cackles._

_No._

_He wouldn't let her know how he felt._

_Obviously, she had seen him almost light his hair on fire before- only to pull the lighter away. She knew that the gasoline would do the trick- at the least in a few days._

_He looked into the mirror and became familiar with the new, bald, Benny._

_This made him cry even more._

_Oh great._

_**How did you like it?**_

_**I personally thought it was pretty funny. I will update it if you review the story Please do, in fact. Otherwise, I'll have to delete it.**_

_**(Conor sobs uncontrollably as he thinks of an empty review window). **_

_**-WithoutYou19-**_


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